Brotherly Love

There is a destiny which makes us brothers; none goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.

Edwin Markham


There is a radical idea which might cause quite a stir. It might change much of society if so many of us participate in this, that it results in our recipients responding to it in the way it is supposed to be responded to.

My idea is really not my own. It is not that original. In fact, I know quite a few people who do this already and they are the inspiration.

Love Is the Answer

It is this. It is for us to respond to our fellow human beings with brotherly love.

What do I mean by this? I mean that given that we are inundated with so many opposing, divisive, even hateful arguments, we respond with love. Brotherly love. Once we respectfully put across our views, we don’t engage. We don’t argue. If we need to say anything, we just say that we respect that they have their views and we have ours. Then, we withdraw. Retreat.

Now, I hear you ask. Does that mean that we have surrendered? Have we given up? My answer? No. Not at all. We still conduct our lives with determination and fulfill our respective goals i.e. the bigger picture. We still do what we need to do because that is part of our journey (here’s mine: or who we want to be. If you are shaking your head right now, please hear me out.

When we engage in bitter disputes, we are sapping ourselves of vital energy. We need this energy. This is what makes us who we are and motivates us to push on. This energy is needed to do the really important stuff. The work that can achieve real results, effect real change in the world.

Divide and Conquer

Here’s another reason why we need to do this – ‘Divide et impera’. In Latin it means divide and rule, or divide and conquer. It “…in politics and sociology is gaining and maintaining power by breaking up larger concentrations of power into pieces that individually have less power than the one implementing the strategy”.

Therefore, when we engage and argue we are essentially allowing the very divisions to develop with our ‘brothers’, that have been stirred up by people who want to control us. This technique according to the author of the article, ‘Divide et Impera”: A History of “Divide and Rule’, is used in politics and in corporations it is “used as a smokescreen to help consolidate and advance their grip on power in the corporate hierarchy.[12]”.

The authors even point out, in the context of narcissistic family dynamics, that: “A primary strategy the narcissist uses to assert control, particularly within his/her family, is to create divisions among individuals. This weakens and  isolates them, making it easier for the narcissist to manipulate and dominate. Some are favoured, others are scapegoated.” The narcissist may even use gossip to tell untruths and isolate those who are scapegoated.

We Are In Control

So, since we can’t control the actions of others, we control our reactions. We don’t win the battle. We win the war. It is to triumph against those who seek to control our actions against our ‘brothers’, whom we would get along with, whom we would even like, if we weren’t all stirred up by those who seek to control us.

Listen, it is really very easy to emphasize how someone is different from each of us. Just because the technique used today is to divide based on religion, race, skin color or gender doesn’t mean it won’t work really well, tomorrow, based on some other subjective criteria. The truth is, we are all different. Even identical twins are different.

So what do we do now? It seems like a really hopeless situation. Listen, I have really struggled with this. I still do. I have been persecuted before, based on my race, my appearance and my background, even by those who were supposed to embrace me into their fold. My pain was deep.

But if we see the other guys as very much like us, it helps. They want to protect their families and live safely and securely. These people want to be healthy. They want to have enough for food and shelter. Most of all, they want happiness. Like we want happiness.

We Are Still Strong

Focus on the final goal. Don’t be drawn into the pit of petty battles. We might be tested everyday. The Dalai Lama said, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”

Ultimately, we need to accept that humanity can either survive by love and compassion or be destroyed by hate. It is our choice and our call.

four toddler forms circle photo
Photo by Archie Binamira on

Love and joy in the innocent play of children

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