1. Be Yourself to Find Love.
You cannot make someone love you by pretending to be what you are not.
The truth is that a lot of people make themselves out to be what they are not. What is worse, they do this in the context of one of the most important, serious relationship commitments of their lives.
They meet someone who they think is the ideal partner. Then, they try to form themselves into someone they perceive the ‘ideal’ person would find attractive and would love. The trouble is that you can only pretend what you are not for so long. Then, over time, the cracks begin to show.
2. Make Sure that You Are In a Loving Relationship that Allows for Growth.
The longer you are in a relationship, the more likely that you and your partner will change. So, who you commit to today may not be the same person a few years down the road.
Therefore, both you and your partner have to be prepared for the ‘growth’ that will occur in the other. Neither of you should expect the other to be the ‘giver’ who only accepts changes. Not only that, one partner should not be allowed to ‘grow’ haphazardly to the exclusion of the other’s feelings. Ultimately, your growth should also complement your partner’s growth. Which leads me to the next point.
3. Prepare to Compromise and Work Together as a Team.
I remember that in my first marriage, I thought if I tried my hardest to make things work, my marriage would be fine. But we were always at loggerheads. Adversaries instead of allies.
Now, I am grateful for a relationship with someone who values me and tries hard to meet me in the middle and shows love and commitment. He has become my trusted friend and companion, in addition to being my romantic partner. And he and I come from opposite sides the world, are from different cultures and had very different childhoods. But we both value each other enough to be part of our team.
The reality is that a good, healthy relationship involves a couple who both make compromises. They also work together towards a common goal. If one of you sees the other as a burden and an impediment, your relationship is doomed.
4. Prioritize Trust, Love and Loyalty.
The day that one party to the relationship loses the trust of the other is a really sad day for the relationship. People make mistakes but if one person in the relationship lies, withholds information and keeps the other party out of the loop, the core of their bond, which is trust, is lost.
Also, it takes two hands to clap. For a relationship to truly succeed, each person needs to look at their role in the partnership with sincerity and integrity. Neither person should take the other for granted.
Moreover, given that you might have sacrificed something to be with your loved one, you want your other half to consider you their closest and most admired ally. Therefore, if they say terrible things about you behind your back, it is a sign of their disdain for you. It is a sign of disloyalty. It also important for you to see that love and loyalty go hand-in-hand in a loving and committed relationship.
5. It is Important to Keep the Romance Alive in a Relationship
Romance is as important as the practical aspects of being together.
Life can get really busy, especially with children, work and looking after the home. Yet, you need to maintain the spark that first ignited the romance. The giving of time, giving little gifts, making little gestures and symbols of affection keep the romance burning.
At no point should you or your partner feel that the romance is worth sacrificing. After all, we all need to be reminded of how deep our love is for our partner. A little romance can motivate a couple to be more enthusiastic and energetic about their daily tasks and jobs.
There are no guarantees in love and life. So, true love may not come to everyone.
However, a mutual commitment and a genuine spirit of partnership might bring true love to those who genuinely seek it out. And a little romance will keep the love alive.
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