We have entered the autumnal season here in the U.S. I have really grown to like autumn or ‘fall’ as it is referred to, in the alternative.
There’s Something About Autumn
When I first arrived in the United States, as a new immigrant, fall was the first season which was really new to me. Summer was very familiar already because tropical Singapore is generally sunny and warm, for most of the year.
I really do not count my years of travel, even to the United States, as ‘experiencing’ seasons because it is in witnessing full seasons, that one experiences the moods of the warm days and suddenly cooler days of autumn. Now that I have lived here for well over a decade, I really feel the rhythms of autumn.
Seasons Before Autumn
And there are so many parallels between the fall season and the point I am in my life’s journey. You see, when I first dreamt of being a writer, I lacked life experience and so much of what I wanted to write about was hypothetical – being in my life’s ‘springtime’. So I was compelled to wait on being a writer.
Then, life hit me and decades of wave after wave of life, dramatic incidents, events, with marriage, work and children happened. I was so impossibly busy. A kind of summer ‘heat’ of life, if you like. I have talked so much about that life of mine, in this blog. I cannot summarize that whole season of my life in any one post. But in that ‘summer,’ my children somehow became full adults, i.e. over 21. My oldest reached his late 20s. And then the tail-end of that ‘summer’ of my life was reached last year when a number of powerful events, both big and small, happened.
Anxieties and Biases
By this point, I was tired of all the varying anxieties of the decades. The last three or four years’ anxieties, in the United States, included dealing with the hatred targeted against immigrants and people of color. You see, being both, and married to a White American, I was hurt by the events swirling around me. People used to be subtle about their biases.
We all have biases, so we all kept our thoughts to ourselves and life was fairly peaceful. But then, people were given ‘permission’ to be hateful or be ‘haters’ and to flaunt that hate in the face of their ‘hated’.
I am ethnically Indian and from Singapore. So, I thought to myself that I had enough of being silent. It was the final straw if you like. I wanted to be heard. Tell the truth about what a person like me is like. My hopes, dreams and desires.
I therefore launched my website with my ‘Captain of My Soul’ piece, https://wp.me/pc7lFV-6a. You see, I felt like I had reached a turning point with so many changes converging within the early months of last year. I had found the impetus, https://wp.me/pc7lFV-9.
Autumn is Here
My law school training kicked in. Although I had written mostly for legal work in the past, the discipline helped me to be this new kind of writer. Checking authorities when needed. Pondering, drafting and re-drafting. Like the lawyer, I have not seen merit in endless numbers of irrelevant, rambling posts. No need for verbal diarrhea.
And as time went on, I felt the need to be heard on a variety of subjects, both serious and ordinary. So, in the past year, I have voiced my opinions, found my voice. I have considered and been thoughtful, over every single piece. To the best of my ability. I decided to write to be authentic. Not to be popular. I did not want to pretend or be fake. What you see is what you get.
I have recently completed a full year with this blog and reached 5000 hits. It has been cathartic. So, for what it is worth, I am happy. I have managed to stay real. Say my piece. With as much truth as I can tell. And hopefully more people want to read what I have to say.
Happy Fall, All!
You helped me remember the beauty of autumn.
I am so happy to be part of your experience, Sebastian! It is such an honor to help invoke memories. And memories of beauty? Beauty is what makes life worth living!